What WAQAR ZAKA Is Doing In Burma?

A couple of questions need to be answered first, before starting off this blog entry with a bang.
What is happening in Burma?
Well, it is a place where Muslims are in a minority, and around 90% of the population is comprised of Buddhists, and these Buddhists have been persecuting Muslims since a very long time. This rivalry between the Muslims and Buddhists has been in existence since a very long time and can be traced back to the times of World War, but recent acts of extremism by Muslims have further added fuel to this rivalry. And since the element of Islamophobia exists here, the persecution has been happening and the majority is winning.
Who is Waqar Zaka?
If you cannot answer this second question, then this blog is a “Must Read” for you. One cannot be claimed as a true Pakistani if he does not know who Waqar Zaka is.
Waqar Zaka was basically a TV host of this famous show called “Living on the Edge” where people used to take up dares. This show was poorly planned, had the worst plot twists and the worst acting. Yes, it was scripted, but still, the people who acted sucked. Any way, Living on the Edge ended soon and Waqar Zaka went on to some other desi kind of show that I am forgetting, after which he eventually retired.
Right now, he has been using his savings to take trips to US, and recently visited UK. He is a party animal right now but still likes to call himself as a “TV Host”. If you visit his Facebook page, you will find some of his videos where he boasts about his ability to travel in first class. If you still do not get the idea how he parties in foreign countries, then the following pictures will give you a rough idea.

“Hello fans, here I am with a red bus.”

“Now let me show you what a blue bus looks like.”

“Enough with the bus fetish, time to see some houses.”

“Here, look, I am also meeting humans on my vacation apart from buses.”

“Since I am traveling alone, here is my selfie with a coffee cup. Loner for life!”

So I hope you get my point. This is Waqar Zaka, and this is how he spends his time when he is out “partying” in foreign countries.
A couple of days ago Waqar Zaka was at a party in UK, and suddenly he got this feeling, “Hey, I used to be a daring show host in the ancient times, and people used to call me daredevil, not because I am the most daring person in the world, but because I look like a fuckin jackass. It is time to do something huge. Lez go to Burma bitches, and take some selfies with bald monks there.”
This is exactly what his mind told him, and his expressions while getting this amazing idea were as follows:

“Bohut party ho gayi at Oxford. Time to go to Burma to save Muslims now! Fuck Yeah!”

This girl had no idea about Waqar’s  idea, she was just posing in this picture. Girls! Right? So anyway, the journey to Burma starts!
Waqar Zaka’s journey to Burma!
This is how Waqar Zaka announced his mission to Burma on Facebook:

“Dear Pakistanis, I am going to Burma now. And here is my pic with the sun and a serious face to show that I am taking this mission seriously. Loner FTW!”

In his own words, “I am the first Pakistani host to go to Burma and practically helping them” Note how he slides the ‘Pakistani Host’ title again and again to his name, like ARY is ever gonna employ him again. (He favored Axact and Bol a lot recently. LOL.)
Following are two reasons why he went to Burma:
1. “People keep telling me why I am not doing anything for Burma.”
2. Charities are not reaching to Burma.
He also claimed that, “I will go to Burma, give them charity, and put such selfies on Facebook, because Naiki kar Darya mein Daal is a quote that is horse shit.”
He reaches the airport in Burma
Waqar Bhai finally reached Burma on airport, and it turns out the authorities there really hated him. Waqar Zaka claimed that he was treated badly at the airport because he was a Muslim.

“The authorities hatin’ on me because Im a Muslim. Yeah, nothin to do with my outdated hair style or my creepy looks”

Upon Reaching Burma
He reached Burma, and turns out he got broke immediately.

“Hey patriots, I am broke now. So start sending me charities!”

He posted his account details, and even got the charities. His main aim: To take 2 or 3 Muslims from Burma to safety. Now that is a really good thing he plans on doing! Kudos!
There was another problem he was facing in Burma:

“Yaar BC idhar to poondi hi nahi hai.”

Waqar Zaka in one of his Facebook videos posted that he was going to take interview of this guy called Wirathu, and during this interview there were no cameras allowed, so Waqar took out his spy glasses and said, “Has any TV Show Host done this before?” Note how he called himself a TV Host again. Huh.
So any way, who the fuck is Wirathu, and why would he give an interview to Waqar  Zaka?
Who is Wirathu:
If Waqar Zaka is daredevil, the Wirathu is the fuckin devil himself. He is the one who is leading this whole anti Muslim campaign. Yes, Waqar Zaka did kiss a snake in the ancient times, even though that snake was not poisonous, but kissing a gross scaly snake takes some guts. But to be honest, going to Wirathu is 100 times tougher than kissing the snake.

This is Wirathu, who says, “If your kids are Muslims and they are not sleeping at night, tell them I’ll kill them”

Soon Waqar Zaka started to enjoy Burma, and his selfie game began!

“Look at all my Burmese friends, with whom I am taking this selfie, without their consent. Lol, jk”

Waqar Zaka moans:
A day had not passed yet, and his moaning began. 
He believes that the entire Pakistani media is against him. Just because he has reached Burma, he thinks that he is news worthy, and this is what makes me angry about this guy. All he wants is publicity. Why should the media cover him?
1. He has not yet delivered his promise to provide us with Wirathu’s interview with his spy glasses.
2. He has not yet covered any victims of Burma and has not spread awareness.
3. He has not yet given the charity to the Muslims.
So why should the media cover you? All we know so far is that you are on your another adventurous trip.
Later he showed us this Muslim from Burma, but did not share his story. All we know is that he was hungry, and Waqar Zaka showed no evidence of paying him any of the charity that he received from people.
The charities started coming in, and he accumulated less than 2000 pounds after which he decided that his 2 day trip had to be extended to a week. Because let us face it, how can he accommodate his selfie taking habits and helping the Muslims in just two days. Not possible.
Selfies are a must

“My batteries die sooner because of my seflies. YOLO!”

Waqar went broke again because he kept buying batteries for camera since he wanted to take selfies, so he gave his fans his HBL account number to get money through online transfers, and he did! More money for selfies, trippin and weed.
Depression
Depression is a fuckin jackass. Once you get it, you are done for life. Even I had depression a couple of years ago and it got stuck with me for a year. Asshole! Although Waqar is a daredevil, this does not mean he is “Depression Proof”. He got it, unfortunately.

“I am broke and sleeping under the sky. Fuck me! Also I cannot help these people. Also I am here for two more weeks. Also, send me money bitches!”

So basically the thing to learn here is that Waqar Zaka is in Burma for a couple of weeks, so we will get some entertainment in Ramzan as well when we are not allowed to listen to music or watch TV shows. We still need to see how he follows his motto, “Naikee kar Facebook pe upload kar”. Honestly, this is a bullshit quote, and please do not use this quote on your essays or personal statements, but let us see how Waqar Zaka follows this ideology.
How the people reacted?
One of our brothers is really pissed with Waqar Zaka. He hates him so much, that he is ready to devote his time to building a time machine. Well done Muzammil, we salute your devotion to a cause.

The “Fuck You” Guy

Then we have the nice Pakistani woman who always speaks the truth. Yes, she can be called a “Rational” in a true sense here, but seriously, is being jobless that bad? Even I am jobless.

“I only speak the truth”

We have our very own optimist here who is ready to give Waqar props where it is due. But honestly, I am only adding her in this blog entry because of her clever user name. Pinderella? Bravo!

The “Glass Half Full” Girl

Then we have this suspicious guy. He is really taking this Waqar’s trip to Burma seriously, and is raising logical questions on Twitter. Wow.

Here we have another Twitter user who has no idea what Waqar Zaka is doing on her timeline. Let me tell you a fact, none of your friends have liked Waqar Zaka from your account as a prank, because honestly, no one has the time for it. He is on your timeline because you brought him there. So deal with it. And stop using capslock. And is that Emma Watson on your profile? If yes, then I forgive you.

Capslock Queen

THE WINNER
Here we have our winner in this Blog award, who basically used Waqar Zaka’s name, made a joke out of it, and is ready to use this statement to set a trend. “Yaar Tum Waqar Zaka toh Nahi? Agar ho, toh yeh lo Lanat”
Just brilliant. Faith in intelligence restored.

Trend setter

In the end, it is important to note here that I am not sure whether Waqar is really donating in Burma or not. I am not even sure if he is really in Burma or not. Could be a hoax, but who cares? Let us all at least appreciate that he took the initiative to take some time (and money) to visit Burma and see the situation and experience it first hand, rather than going on news channels to find out how many Muslims are suffering.
With this, I close my blog entry. But, you should know that this blog entry has been approved by Lala himself, and Waqar Zaka too. 

Afridi: “Hey Waqar, where the fuck is your hand wandering.” Waqar: “I honestly dont know Shahid Bhai, I am very high.”

Cheers!